The Gyrffindor that didn't make any sense
by Gemmortia
Summary: Abigail Grace is a bright young witch with just a bit too much anxiety to be comfortable around most of Gryffindor house let alone the notorious Marauders. When they enlist her help to turn into animagus' to help Remus with his transformations, they find our just how special she really is. Things go incredibly wrong when a certain Malfoy tries to take advantage of her innocence.
1. Chapter 1

_I don't normally write authors notes on my stories but today I am breaking the weird rule that I unconsiously set for myself. This is my first serious Marauders fanfiction and would appreciate feed back and reviews and such. I have a lot already written for this but am only going to post once a week._

_I feel I also must include that none of the characters other than Abigail Grace and her mother and some other characters that are likely to be introduced to the stroy at a later point are mine. The lucky bitch, otherwise known as JK Rowling gets the deed to all our hearts as well as the rights to any of her characters I use in this story. _

_I may infact interpret said characters a tiny bit differently to Jk in order to explore them in a different context which is being manipulated to fit my story line. If you feel that I am straying too far from the original characters please let me know and I'll do what I can to rectify it in future chapters. _

_Happy reading! _

* * *

I saw Sirius, James, Remus and Peter all walking slowly up the stair case on their way to the Gryffindor common room. They were silent, which was unusual for all in the group except Peter, who was the less outgoing and extravagant one. James, who was tall and slim, with dark brown hair and round glasses he pushed up his nose every other minute, was catching a golden snitch that hovered just in front of his face, probably stolen from the Quidditch game they won the weekend before. He released it soon after he caught it and then repeated the process, seeming to be amused by it for some reason.

Remus, who was rather pale, average height and a medium build, looked as though he was underfed andwore his light brown hair hanging down in front of his face a bit. He had a book in his hand, and was scanning the pages eagerly. He tripped up the stairs occasionally because he wasn't focusing on where he was walking and Sirius' hand went to his arm to steady him unconsciously. The book seemed heavy and old, probably from the restricted section as the boys were known for their petty theft, pranks and tricks. No doubt that Remus would insist they return it after he was finished though, because he wasn't as reckless as James and Sirius.

Sirius, who had shoulder length unruly dark brown hair, was tall and heavily built and appeared to be deep in thought, with handsome face scrunched up as he often did when thinking of something especially interesting that would probably turn out to be a new prank. I didn't particularly take any notice of what Peter was doing; most people didn't, because he was kind of boring. He was plain in comparison to the other boys and got pushed to the side lines when they were on show. I kind of felt sorry for him but not enough to actually care.

I walked at my usual slow pace, catching up to them on the stairs quickly. I mumbled what I though was a 'can you please hurry up or move out of the way' but they didn't seem to hear me. I sighed and stopped walking. I was going to have to be louder, but I never really talked to anyone here. I'm not good at making friends, which my mother tells me is not a good thing. She is a social butterfly and my dad was too, so I'm told, so she has no idea where I got my shy nature from. I didn't really either. Lately though, I was becoming increasingly lonely. Maybe I should try and make a friend? I thought to myself.

I sighed again, gearing myself up for what I was about to do. This would probably be the first time I had spoken to any one in my house in the four years I had been here. Oh well, here goes nothing. "Hey guys, could you please hurry up?" I asked and they all stopped collectively, except Peter, who kept walking, oblivious to what the other three were doing. He walked away as Sirius, Remus, and James all turned around at the same time and looked at me. I wondered how they got so synchronised, did they practice or what? It looked cool though.

I blushed under their gaze, not being used to all the attention, especially from guys. I looked down at my shoes which were gladiator sandals and brought my hand up to unhook my hair from behind my ears so it could hide my pink cheeks. We all stood in silence for a bit before one of them spoke, making me look back up to see who it was. "Who are you?" James asked and I looked up at his handsome face to see he was smiling warmly and seemed kind of confused that there was a Gryffindor that he didn't know. "I'm… uh… Abigail Grace." They all let out an 'oh' of recognition. I tilted my head to the left in confusion at that.

They knew who I was? The most popular guys in our year, the whole of Gryffindor even, actually knew who I was. Okay then that was new. They all moved to the side of the stairs to let me passed and I walked up the stairs hurriedly, not wanting to be late for curfew again. I spent most of my time in the library reading and studying to avoid the crowded common room. By now though, everyone had learnt that I don't talk much so they don't try. They just leave me to myself and I'm grateful for that, not that I would say it to their face. Even this group don't prank me anymore. They did once and I burst out into tears silently and walked out of the common room. This was in first year and Remus came up afterwards to apologise. He was very nice about it actually, although it was the only time we had ever had a conversation, he promised to not let anyone prank me again.

I smiled to myself at the memory, liking his kindness. I kept walking until I reached the portrait of the fat lady and said the password 'pumpkin pasties'. I think the prefects were going for a Dumbledore themed password this week, which was rather funny. Dumbledore has always been a quirky man and his fascination with sweets was just one of his many great qualities that attributed to that quirkiness. I stepped inside the door to see that no one was in the room. The room was covered from head to toe with lavish gold and red colours and adorned with lions over everything from the blankets hanging on the back of the couches that surround the fire place to the left and the table tops and armchairs to the right. I put my books down on the couch and sat next to them, warming myself up in front of the fire as the halls were extremely cold at this time of night. It was about ten o'clock and nobody else was down in the common room. I had trouble sleeping and so I spent a lot of time down here, not that anyone else knew that. I slid down to the floor in front of the couch, dragging a blanket with me, wrapping it around my legs and waist. I got my book out and started reading.


	2. chapter 2

_Sorry I haven't updated in a while, haven't had the time for much at all really. There will be a lot of updates over the next week or so, as I have most of the story written I just haven't had internet access for a while to post anything. So be ready. _

_From Gemmortia_

* * *

A half an hour later I heard the door open and four sets of footsteps stumble into the room. One went straight to the stairs and up to the boy's common room and the other three stopped near the tables and I heard chairs shuffling across carpet and bodies plopping down into them. I was out of view with the couch covering my position on the ground from the people that I assumed were James, Sirius and Remus as they were the only ones I passed when heading back here from the library. Then I heard a voice start to speak. "I've never heard her speak before. It was strange."

It was James and he spoke in a whisper, but since the common room was empty I could hear what they were saying clearly enough. "I haven't even noticed her since first year. After that prank, do you remember? The slime charmed to drop on the first person to come through the door. The poor thing almost had a heart attack. It was funny though." I heard a soft chuckle and guessed it was Sirius. He was always the first to laugh in that group. His laugh was nice, rumbly and deep. It gave me chills. The rest started to laugh quietly along with him and I shook my head softly.

They were only being funny, it's nothing personal. "She's a lot prettier now, isn't she?" Asked the third voice that could only belong to Remus. I blushed and put a hand over my mouth to stop myself from gasping in shock. 'They thought I was pretty?' I thought to myself in amazement. That was confusing. I wasn't even remotely good looking but Remus thought that I was. Wow. I heard two grunts of agreement and a small smile appeared on my face. I couldn't help it. They all thought I was good looking. I guess it was nice to be appreciated; I don't get that from anyone else.

"I wonder why she doesn't talk to anyone though. She seems interesting enough. Everyone in Gryffindor gets along really well except her. Well, no one doesn't get along with her it's more just that she doesn't socialise with anyone for them to form an opinion of her. She's illusive and mysterious. It's strange." That was Sirius again. What he said had some truth to it I guess. But I just don't really feel confident enough to talk to people without a specific purpose.

And then there is the fact that most people aren't that smart when it comes to conversational skills and I find that highly annoying so it's best to just avoid it all together. "I think we should try and talk to her more. She seems smart, even smarter than Remus here. Maybe she could help us with that thing we're working on." James said his voice dropping to nearly inaudible at the last part. They were working on something? I wonder what it was? Remus was the second smartest in the year behind me, what could they possibly need me for? I suddenly felt really tired, but had no way of getting to bed with those three sitting there.

I couldn't let them know I had heard their conversation or could I? Did I really care if they knew? It would be kind of funny to see their faces. They said they were going to try talking to me more, so maybe I should offer my help to them? Sounds like a plan. I closed my book quietly and put it with my other books. The boys had gone quiet as they heard the shuffling about of my standing up. I didn't turn around until I had folded up the blanket and returned it to its place on the couch. I walked around the couch and faced them. James and Remus looked shocked and Sirius looked amused and impressed.

I walked over to them and sat down in the empty chair that was in between Sirius and Remus and looked at them. What should I say? I thought to myself and then an idea popped into my head. I focused on Remus and smiled at him. "Nice to know you think I'm pretty Remus." He blushed. Sirius and James burst out laughing and I sat back in my chair, glad that it wasn't going to be awkward from now on. "So what do you want my help with?" I asked and they all remembered I was sitting behind the couch the whole time they were having a conversation.

I don't know what was coming over me tonight. I was just in a social mood I guess. I've been alone for fouryears, with no friends so maybe today was a good day to start being more involved. Their faces fell and they looked at each other, especially Remus. I think they were deciding whether or not to tell me or involve me somehow. I saw Remus nod his head asI looked down at my hands that were leaning on the edge of the table, picking at my nails.

"Can we trust your complete and utter secrecy?" Remus asked who, now that I looked closely at him, was looking quite sickly. Maybe it was his time of the wolf month. It was extremely close to the full moon. I figured out that he was a werewolf in my second year. You see a lot of things when you're sitting on the side lines looking in. I noticed that he got sick every month and started to record every day he went to the hospital wing. I then cross referenced that with every kind of disease I knew, muggle and magical. I came up with two conclusions; either he was secretly a girl who got really bad cramps once a month or he was a werewolf.

I didn't get freaked out about it or tell anyone because I didn't think it was a bad thing. Dumbledore wouldn't have let him into the school if he was a danger to everyone and I trusted his judgement. I also knew that Remus was kind hearted so I think that, even if he did hurt someone, a; that it wouldn't be me because I made sure to stay away from him at that time of the month and b; that he wouldn't have meant to do it and would feel extremely guilty about it afterwards. "Yes you have it. It's not like I have anyone to tell anyways." I said with a smirk.

I was feeling extremely confident now, the nice things they said about me earlier making me more comfortable in their presence. Sirius looked excited about what was going on and James too. Remus on the other hand looked kind of guilty about what I had just said but brushed it aside as he readied himself to tell me about his furry little problem. "First of all you have to know something in order for you to understand why we need your help. I…" He paused for a moment and looked to Sirius, a pained expression on his face. He was probably having trouble telling someone he didn't know very well. "Remus is a werewolf." Sirius said and they all looked at me for some kind of response.

They stared at me as I sat their looking back at them with a small smile still on my face. Were they expecting me to run out of the room screaming 'Remus is a werewolf!'? Not likely. I decided that I would be blunt with them. "I know." Their jaws dropped collectively and I sighed. "I figured it out in second year." If their jaws could detach from their faces, they would have ran away they were so shocked. I laughed at their reactions and their faces lightened up a bit, their jaws reconnecting with the rest of their skulls. "You have a really pretty laugh." Sirius said at the same time that James asked "Why didn't you tell anybody about it?"

I blushed at Sirius' comment but ignored him as I answered James. "I went to Dumbledore. And let him know that I figured it out and then I told him that it was a really great thing that he did, letting Remus in to Hogwarts. I observe people instead of interact with them and I saw that Remus was kind and really wanted to be here. Who am I to have a problem with a boy wanting to learn? Who am I to tell him that he can't come to this school because he has a fury little problem. I get just as antsy once a month but nobody tells me I can't come to school for it."

James and Sirius chuckled at the 'fury little problem' statement and Remus just stared at me in shock. Again. Then arms were being rapped around me from my left side and I heard a murmur of thank you in my ear. I stiffened and looked at James with a plea in my eyes for help. I had no idea what to do in a situation like this. My mother hadn't been one for nurture so I wasn't used to such public and direct shows of affection. Red was running into my cheeks as I sat there awkwardly, not knowing what to do. Remus' arms were stronger than I thought they would be.

Not that I thought about his arms around me often or at all for that matter. James and Sirius were laughing again, probably at me for being so helpless and awkward. "Remus, can you let me go now?" I said to him and the other two cracked up in another fit of laughter. Remus let go quickly and blushed, moving out of his chair and over to lean on the back of the couch. Sirius was kneeling on the floor in the space between the couch and the tables and James was clapping him on the back as they both laughed hysterically. I shook my head and looked at Remusagain as he laughed with them, a look of love and appreciation in his eyes. I smiled at him and he looked up at me.

"So what do you need help with?" I asked after they had all calmed down and one of the prefects had come down to tell us off for being so loud and told us to go to bed. She looked shocked to see me down here with them and was hesitant to leave me alone knowing Sirius and James' reputations with the girls in our house and even some of the other ones but I assured her that I was fine. I told her my right hook was stronger than you would believe. We all laughed at that. This night was the first time I had laughed so much all at once. I laughed again as I saw Sirius's eyes light up at my question.

"We want to be able to help Remus through his transformations. He hurts himself trapped in the shrinking shack all alone and we thought that if we became animagi then we could be there with him." I smiled at him as he bounced on his heels in excitement. James was excited too but not as much as Sirius. He had a goofy grin on his face that seemed to lighten it up and make him look even more handsome. I shook the thought of his good looks out of my head and he looked at me strangely and I realised I had shook my head physically too. I blushed and looked to the floor, but I knew his grin changed to a smug one. He was the type of person who knew he was handsome and owned it, flaunted it and teased everyone with it.

I sighed and looked back up. "Do you know the process of becoming an animagi?" I asked them and they all shook their heads. "So you didn't even do any research after you decided to become animagi? Really? Not even you Remus?" He shook his head and downcast his eyes. I shook my head and laughed at them, my hand going to my stomach to support myself as I doubled over. I was hysterical. Who doesn't do their research on this big of an idea.

I calmed myself down after a while and they all looked at me amused at my outburst. There was a shout of "SHUT UP" coming from upstairs and it sent me on another round of giggles that I tried to suppress. After I finally settled down I told them the process. "You have to brew a series of potions and take them every day for three months, a different potion each month so that you would be able to transform into your animagus form without pain, or any other hiccups along the way."

I told them. It was complicated and the magic required is very advanced even for me and them combined but they were confident we could do it. I paused when they said 'we'. It made me feel happy. I had never belonged to a group before so I was kind of taken aback when they told me that I was an honorary marauder now. They had only known me one night and already they had told me their deepest darkest secrets and accepted me into their group.

We made plans to meet in the library tomorrow, which was Sunday, after breakfast and start on the planning. Then we all went to bed. We parted at the bottom of the stairs and they all hugged me tightly. I was slightly taken aback at that too but they said I would have to get used to it because they would be doing it more often. Sirius was last to hug me and the others had already retreated into the boy's dormitory so it just left us at the bottom of the stairs. He pulled me tightly against him, so that our bodies touched at every spot; thigh to thigh, pelvis to pelvis, stomach to stomach and chest to chest.

I blushed terribly at the feel of his body on mine; he basically enveloped my frame as he leaned over me. His head rested on my shoulder and mine on his. He didn't let go for a long time and I was stiff and unresponsive at first but then I gave up trying to resist and settled into it. I enjoyed the human contact that I hadn't had for so long. It was rare because usually I didn't like to be touched but something was different with him. "You looked like you needed a long hug." He whispered into my ear. I shivered as his warm breath brushed against my skin. I felt his face lift up in a smirk as I shivered against his body and he pulled me tighter into him. I closed my eyes and hugged him back, not wanting to let go of the comfort it brought to me.

After a while, he let go of me and I conformed and did the same for him. I smiled and he leaned closer to me. I backed up a bit, not yet comfortable with people's faces being so close to mine. He smiled as he stepped closer and grabbed my wrist. I panicked a bit as his face went to mine. He kissed me on the cheek and I blushed at the feel of his lips on my skin. It felt warm,soft and foreign but really good. He paused and whispered "Good night Abigail." He let go of my wrist and stepped back.

He smiled a cheeky grin and winked at me as he turned and strolled up the stairs to his room. I stood there in shock as I watched him walk away and I processed the evening's events. I think I had made some friends. Well that was extremely unexpected. I walked up to my room, which was the highest room in the tower, and also the smallest as it was a single room, built for one. When I came in first year, the house elves knew that I would be more comfortable sleeping alone, as I got very anxious when I had to sleep in a room with other people.

When my nightmares got really bad I would talk and even scream in my sleep so this way I could cast a silencing charm over my room to make it sound proof and not disturb other students while they were trying to sleep. It was the first spell I learned how to cast. I pulled off my day clothes that consisted of baggy boyfriend jeans and a light silky red top with a big baggy purple jumper on over the top and got into my pyjamas. I got into bed and fell asleep straight away, falling into a dreamless sleep for the first time in all my years at Hogwarts.


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up to my alarm clock blaring out The Weird Sisters and I shut it off. It was eight o'clock in the morning and on Sunday's breakfast ran until eleven o'clock for people who wanted to sleep in a bit. I sat in bed for a while as I woke up and became aware. I grudgingly got out of bed and found my bathroom things to go and have a shower. Hardly anyone else was up at this time in the morning so the bathroom was empty.

I found a shower bloc and closed myself in, stripping my clothing and turning on the taps. I stood under the hot water for some time after I had finished washing my body and hair, just liking the way it felt against my skin. I thought back to last night and now tightly Sirius had hugged me goodnight and the feel of his lips against my cheek. I sighed and shut off the water, wringing out my hair. I grabbed my towel, wrapped it around my body and folded up my pyjamas. I took them and my bathroom bag with me as I left the bathroom and made my way back up to my bed room.

I put them in the hamper for the house elves to collect later on and then decided on what I should wear for the day. I picked out a pair of black skinny jeans and a long sleaved purple top. I then put on a really big navy blue hoody over the top with some flats that matched. I looked at myself in the mirror that sat in the cupboard and sighed. This was as good as it was going to get.

And so I headed down into the common room to see James, Sirius and Remus sitting on the couch. They turned and looked at me when I came down the stairs and all stood up at the same time. I looked at my watch. It was nine am. "What are you guys doing up so early?" I asked and they smiled at me mischievously.  
"Let's not dwell on that. I'm starving let's go down to breakfast." James said as he made his way to the door. I shrugged and followed him to the door.

Sirius got to the door at the same time as me but chivalrously stood aside and swept his arm to motion that I go first. I smiled at him and stepped out into the cold hall. It was nearly Christmas time and so it was snowing all the time and so cold it was not funny. I hugged my arms to my chest as I walked quickly to the great hall, eager to get in and start eating so that we could reach the warmth of the library sooner. When we got down there, a couple of teachers sat at their table at the front and nobody else was there.

As we sat down at the Gryffindor table food appeared in front of us and we all dug in. I had eggs and bacon on toast, as did Sirius who sat beside me. Remus, who was sitting opposite me with James, had scrambled eggs, hash browns, pancakes and sausages and James had everything he could possible eat. As I reached for the salt, so did Sirius and our hands touched. I blushed and he moved the salt in front of me, letting me use it first. I muttered a thank you and looked down at my food whilst I applied the salt.

I heard a chuckle from beside me and had a sudden urge to hit him. It was strange. I had never had the urge to hit someone before but he made me flustered and I really had no idea how to deal with it. I poured myself a drink of orange juice and sipped on it to distract myself from Sirius and his teasing. When we were all finished, although James looked like he wanted more but Remus told he to stop being a pig, we headed up to the library.

As we walked I fell behind as I have a really slow pace and the guys were really excited to get started so they were rushing. James and Sirius went on ahead but Remus realised I was dragging behind and so he slowed his pace to match mine. I smiled over at him as he looked ahead of us at James and Sirius mucking around and jumping about. They looked back at us and Sirius winked at me and I felt my cheeks heat up.

Remus chuckled by my side and I looked over to see that he was looking at me and not the others. I blushed even more deeply and he chuckled again.  
"Sirius makes everyone feel that way, don't worry. You'll get used to it soon enough." I nodded, not trusting my voice as when I got embarrassed I squeaked a bit. We walked in silence for a while and then Remus started up another conversation.  
"Thank you, for not running away screaming when you found out what I am." He said quietly. I tilted my head to the right as I looked at him.

There were scars that were a bit pink compared to his pale skin and peaked out from his collar and covered his arms. He was wearing a short sleeved top, which I thought was a bit strange considering how cold it was today but I just ignored it. He was a guy, and guys were stupid when it comes to things like that. I reached out and touched the scar on his forearm and he flinched.  
"Sorry, I just couldn't help myself." I said sheepishly. He laughed and I did too relaxing into a friendly atmosphere. We talked about school and which subjects we enjoyed most. I said Charms and Potions and he said Charms and Defence against the Dark Arts which was to be expected so…

We finally got to the library and I smiled and waved at the librarian, as we passed she glared at the boys and smiled warily at me. She was probably wondering why I was here with the marauders but ignored her disapproving looks and we went to a corner out of sight of most of the library. I sat down in a comfortable arm chair and slipped my flats off, bringing my knees up to my chest and hugged them to me. Remus sat on the ground next to me and Sirius sat on the desk in the corner, leaving James to pace around in the middle of us.  
"Okay, so we need books on animagus and how to become one. Go and get them I'll wait here." They all looked at me amused and I shrugged. I was cold, although the library was considerably warmer that the corridors, it was still cold.

They got their wands out and left the alcove to find what we needed. In the mean time I got my wand out too and said "Accio Blanket." And the Gryffindor blanket that sits on the back of the couch in the common room flew through the library door and onto my lap. I arranged it so that I was completely wrapped up in it and then the boys all came back with stacks of books in hand. They all sat down around me, Remus back on the floor followed by James and Sirius on the desk again.  
"Where did you get the blanket from?" asked Sirius and I smiled.  
"The common room." I said simply as if it was obvious.  
"How did you have time to go all the way up there and back in five minutes?" asked James in a confused voice. I laughed and said "Magic." And Remus and Sirius laughed as James blushed in embarrassment at not having thought about using magic to summon the blanket.

"Okay so start with the theory ones. Sort them into piles of theory and actual creation of the potions to become animagi." I said and they did as they were told. The pile was odd, with three books in the practical pile and seven in the theory pile. I grabbed the thickest one in the latter pile and left the others to get one too. When they didn't move I sighed and flicked my hand, using a spell to make the one book fly at each of them. They looked shocked and I just opened my book and started reading.

I realised that we would have to know a lot of this stuff so taking notes would be a good idea but before I could summon my bag that had a couple of note books and quills in it, Sirius started talking.  
"How did you just do non-verbal magic?" He asked and I looked up at him. He looked impressed, surprised and kind of intimidated. I smirked. "Mix a little natural talent and practice together and guess what you get?" I said sarcastically and they laughed nodding. I guess my answer was acceptable enough.

I flicked my wand again and said "Accio bag." And a couple of moments later my bag flew into my hands. It was small, purple and had an extension charm on it so it had all of my belongings that weren't in my room. I reached into the bag and my arm disappeared. I knocked over a stack of books and my face scrunched up in concentration as I tried to find the notebooks. Finally after a couple of minutes I found them along with a couple of quills and pulled them out. I looked up to see all three boys staring at me again.

"You. Are. Amazing." Said Sirius and I blushed, handing out a note book and quill to each of them as they shook their heads in amazement. Extension charms weren't that hard, what were they amazed about? I sighed and dropped the bag on the ground next to me and groaned as I heard a smash and a crash. They all looked up at me and started laughing. "I always forget about that stupid fish tank." I said and another round of laughter shook them all. I sighed and hushed them as I could hear the footsteps of the librarian coming toward us.

They shut up and I heard her pause and then decide to walk away. She always got pranked for kicking them out of the library. I read the book and took as many notes as possible. After about two hours I finished and looked up to see the boys hard at work, totally oblivious to what was going on around them, not that anything much wasbut still. I floated the book onto the ground in a new pile and got another one out. I started a fresh page and did the same thing, taking notes furiously.

We managed to get all of the theory books we had gotten out from the shelves finished on that day, just in time for dinner. I collected the note books and put them back in my bag after making a list of all the books we had read through, so that we didn't re-read them next time. We made plans to come back after school every day that week, do homework and then work on this. I only agreed because they were really taking this seriously and I was going to be in here anyways so I thought why not?

We met at the library every day after that. I was becoming increasingly comfortable with them. They were funny and kind most of the time, and I couldn't help but feel like I had finally found friends. Months passed as we learnt everything we could possibly learn about animagi and the process they would have to go through in order to become one. They were dedicated and worked really hard, which I found very strange because they didn't do much in class, apart from Remus, who excelled in everything he set his mind to.

Sirius made numerous attempts at trying to seduce me to no avail as I was too awkward and flustered to respond in any way at all. After a while and after Remus yelled at him to leave me alone, he finally stopped trying. He flirted with me but never made a move again after that. Apparently Remus never got mad or yelled at anyone because he thought it just fed the lies about werewolves being violent and he was generally a calm person, but he could see that Sirius's advances were making me uncomfortable and that made him annoyed.

I'm not too sure why it made him annoyed but I was grateful none the less. I was only fifteen and just getting used to being around people so I was really not ready for what Sirius wanted. He was a good guy but I just didn't know what to do when it came to those kinds of things. It wasn't that I didn't like him it was just that I had never thought about anyone that way and so it felt weird when he approached me in that way.


	4. Chapter 4

One lunch time about two months after I had agreed to help them out, after Christmas and my birthday, Sirius leaned on the back of a chair across from me in the library where I was studying. I was sitting in our usual alcove in the arm chair I had claimed as my own, with my Charms text book in my lap, leaning my note book on the arm of the chair as I took notes. He sat there and stared at me for about five minutes and I realised that simply ignoring him wasn't going to make him go away.

I looked up at him and saw that he was angry. I wondered why but figured that if he wanted to tell me he would and if he didn't that was his business. I shut my book and sat it down on the ground next to my chair along with my note book and quill to show him he had my full attention.  
"Hi." I said quietly and his face softened as he saw that I was uncomfortable with him staring at me.  
"Hello." He said back and then shifted so that he was sitting on the ground in front of me, leaning back on his hands.

I looked down at him as he stretched his legs out in front of himself and sighed.  
"What's wrong?" I asked my voice still quiet. He was silent for a few minutes as he contemplated his answer. He closed his eyes at one point and just sat there.  
"Why don't you like me?" He asked and I blushed and looked at my hands. I did like him, I just never new how to act around him.  
"I do like you." I said and he opened his eyes and looked up at me in confusion.

"You don't act like it. You always avoid looking at me; never respond when I try to talk to you. It's confusing. I'm not used to girls not liking me." I smiled at his confusion. He just didn't understand me is all. I was a very shy person and his loud, energetic personality just scared me a bit. It wasn't that I didn't like him. I decided I would tell him about why I was shy.  
"I have anxiety." I said and he looked at me confused. "It's a muggle illness, a mental one. I get really anxious in crowded areas, have panic attacks and such. I'm not very good at talking to people because of it.

"If I didn't have this thing, this barrier around me, I would probably be more like you; loud, eccentric, and mischievous. I freeze in situations that involve more than a couple of people. My breathing becomes shallow; I feel nauseous and start to panic. It's not you at all; I just don't have any experience dealing with people in general, let alone a good looking guy trying to seduce me at every opportunity." I said as I looked at my hands that were sitting in my lap. He didn't respond and we were plunged back into silence, but this time it was more comfortable.

"So you think I'm good looking?" he asked and I looked up to see a smug smirk on his face. I sighed and shook my head as he laughed.  
"Is that all you got from what I just said?" I asked, giggling at his immaturity.  
"No, I understand now. It makes a lot more sense." He said. I smiled as he continued. "What can I do to make you more comfortable around me?" he asked. I thought about it a bit and realised that I was talking to him normally now. He just had to stop flirting with me and just treat me normally and I would be able to handle it.

"Stop flirting with me: just talk to me like you are now and I should be fine." I said and his face fell from his happy grin to a sombre expression.  
"So you're not interested in me in 'that' way?" He asked, putting emphasis on 'that' to imply meaning. I blushed at the thought and shook the thought of him like 'that' from my head. His face fell even more and I realised I had shaken my head physically. Did I like him in that way? What did that even mean? Did I fine him attractive? Yes. Every time I looked at him I blushed or felt all fluttery inside but Remus told me he made everyone feel like that.

But maybe it was my body telling me that I did like him in 'that way.' He got up and went to leave, still disappointed about my accidental rejection.  
"Wait." I said and he stopped, turning around to face me. "I'm confused. I have never really thought about anyone like that, but you… you make me feel funny…" I tried to think of the right words to say and his face scrunched up in amusement at the word 'funny'.  
"You make me feel warm and happy and alive every time I see you. I have never felt that way before and so it's foreign and confusing. I need time to think." He smiled and nodded leaving me there to think.

We went on like that for a bit, just talking at lunch time and then working on our project after school. Sirius and I had come to a silent understanding; we were just friends.I made sure to set aside time for us to do our homework much to the dismay of Sirius and James but they agreed in the end, saying that it would be a good idea not to flunk out of school. They said it would defeat the purpose. It was finally the Sunday before the end of the year that finished on Wednesday and we were packing up our books.

We all decided that we would start brewing the potions as soon as we came back next yearas we packed up our books and exited the library.I left them saying I wasn't that hungry and made my way up to the Gryffindor tower and to my bed room. I walked through the partially occupied common room fast and practically ran up the stairs as I was feeling particularly self-conscious and anxious this evening. I opened my door and went inside my room that was decorated in the usual red and gold Gryffindor décor that adorned every inch of the tower.

My bed sat in the middle of the room up against the back wall and my wardrobe was too the left. I walked over to it as I dropped my bag next to the door and picked out some pyjamas. I stripped my clothing off and wrapped said pyjamas around my body, eager to go to sleep. Just as I was about to get into bed I heard a soft tapping on my window and walked over to find my mother's owl sitting on the edge of the window outside. I opened the window and removed the letter that was attached to Wind's foot and pulled it out of the envelope so I could read it.

Dear Abigail Grace,

I regret to inform you that you cannot come home for the holidays this year as I will be going away. Alternatively, you must stay at The Leaky Cauldron. I have enclosed a key and password to a new vault that I have set up at Gringotts for you. You can use this money to pay for your accommodation and buy your new books and things needed for the new school year. You should have enough money to last you until the end of your schooling and beyond. This will be the last time I contact you.

Password: yellow tails

From

Maree Worthington

I sighed as I pulled out the key and set it on my bedside table. I knew this was going to happen eventually; that she would disown me. I just didn't expect it to happen so soon. At least she left me some money so I wouldn't have to live on the streets. She wasn't completely heartless, there were fragments left. They were just really tiny. I climbed into bed and fell into a fitful sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

"NO!" I yelled as I sat up in my bed, waking myself from the nightmare that haunted my dreams. I shivered and looked around the room to find it completely empty with light streaming in through the window. I sighed and flopped back against my pillows, trying to calm down my breathing. I hated nightmares. This one was particularly bad. I was standing on the edge of a cliff and I was facing the water, then hands grabbed me from behind and pulled me back so that I was pressed up against a body. Then they whispered in my ear.

"Do you want to die?" And then the laughed an evil barking laughs as they pushed me off of the cliff. I fell and I fell and I fell, but I always woke right as I hit the ground. I shook the darkness that clouded my mind and got out of bed and readied myself for the day. I had to go to class. Today was also the day that James and Sirius were forcing me to eat breakfast with them. Great.

I looked at the clock to see that it was eight o'clock and realised that they would be waiting for me down in the common room by now. I walked down the steps slowly, trying to prolong the day for as long as possible. I finally reached the bottom of the stairs and I saw that they were all standing near the couch pacing around as they waited for me. Sirius was the first to look up and notice me and I smiled weakly at him. He walked over and put his hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes. I noticed that his were a deep shade of grey that were very pretty.

"Are you okay? You look like you've been kicked by a hippogriff." He said with worry in his voice.  
"I'm fine; I just didn't sleep very well. Nightmares." I replied and his eyes softened. He looked like he wanted to hug me but he knew I didn't really like hugs so he left it alone. By now the other three had noticed that I was here and were looking over at Sirius and me curiously. He removed his arms from my shoulders and stepped aside as I moved towards the door.

"Can we get this over with please?" I said as I left the common room. I heard laughter follow me out the door and down the stairs. James and Peter were walking fast in front of us as we approached the great hall and I had Sirius and Remus either side of me for moral support.

We got to the door and the others went in in front of me. Leaving me there to nearly have a panic attack at the thought of going into the room full of other people, most that I had hardly seen before. I turned and started to walk in the direction of the kitchen, abandoning all hope of being able to socialise normally but I felt arms pull me back and direct me into the hall. My breathing become heavy and I started to shake. I turned to look at who ever had decided to drag me in here and saw Sirius staring back at me.

One of his arms went around my shoulder as he guided me to the table where the others were and sat me down next to him. He said quietly to me as he slid in beside me,  
"You'll never get used to this if you don't make an effort and try." I nodded but kept my gaze down at the table, not being able to bring myself to look into any body's eyes. I saw that the table was full of breakfast foods and drinks and I reached forward and took a pancake and a bit of bacon, wrapping the bacon inside the pancake and taking a bite. I nibbled quietly and focused only on my food and ignored all the people laughing and talking around me.

I finished and then poured myself some orange juice and sipped it. I finished that too and sat the glass back on the table, placing my hands in my lap afterwards. I saw Sirius's hand go under the table and into my lap, grabbing one of my hands and squeezing it reassuringly. I felt instantly better at his touch and breathed out a big breath that I didn't realised I was holding. I looked up to see that Remus, Peter and James were sitting opposite us on the table and James was deep in conversation with a red head to his left.

I took in her appearance as I looked over at her. She was pretty, with fair skin and green eyes with bright red- auburn coloured hair, freckles scattered randomly over the delicate features of her face. She looked to be the same age as me, about fifteen and had an expression of fake annoyance on her face. I smiled when she caught me looking at her and she smiled back.  
"Hi, I'm Lily Evans." She said, interrupting something James was saying much to his annoyance.

He didn't say anything though, as he looked over at me, interested in where this conversation was going to go. I hadn't really talked to anyone outside their group so it was going to be interesting for them to see how I interact with other girls I guess.  
"I'm Abigail Grace." I said quietly and she oh-ed like everyone else usually does when they meet me for the first time. I guess I was infamous, being the only Gryffindor who wasn't confident, outgoing or brave.

"So, how did you get involved with these idiots?" She asked her voice sounding amused and curious at the same time. I thought about it for a moment and I looked over to Remus to see that there was panic in his eyes. He thought I was going to tell her about our research in animagi. What did he think I was, stupid? I shook my head at him and he sighed in relief.  
"They tried to prank me, but it didn't work." I said simply, for they had done that many times since we had become friends but every attempt had failed or become redundant as I just used a counter curse and fixed whatever they had done. She looked impressed and nodded her understanding.

"So now they won't leave you alone?" She asked with a laugh and I nodded guessing it was kind of true. I felt Sirius chuckle beside me and I tightened my grip on his hand as he went to pull it away. I was so uncomfortable talking to this girl who seemed so nice and the only thing that was keeping me from running from the room was his hand in mine. He stopped and squeezed back in understanding. I smiled at her and then broke eye contact to pour another drink, and she went back to talking to James.

I heard bits and pieces of their conversation and they appeared to be talking about someone called Severus Snape. Of course I had no idea who he was as I didn't have much interaction with people outside of my own house.  
"But he's a right foul git, Lily. I don't understand how you can be friends with him!" James said in disgust. Lily looked furious at his insult of what I assumed was her friend. She stood up and grabbed a jug of pumpkin juice from the table pausing to say

"No James, you're a right foul git." Before pouring the entire content of the jug onto his head. She stormed off in the direction of the hall way and I watched her go. Her fists were clenched and she stomped loudly as she moved. I saw a boy with greasy black hair and a long pale face get up from the Slytherin table and look in our direction with so much hatred that I looked away from his glare. He walked quickly out of the hall and after Lily. I guess that was this Snape fellow that they were fighting about. I turned back to the table to see James glaring furiously right back at Snape as he left the room and Sirius too.

"Snivellus is such a prick." Sirius said and I shook my head at them. They were so immature. Lily could be friends with whomever she wanted, why was it any of their business who she hung out with?  
"You've got your hands full with that one." Remus said as he clapped James on the back and I looked over at him to see that he looked sickly.  
"Are you okay Remus?" I asked and he shook his head. A connection struck in my mind and I nodded in understanding. It was a full moon tonight.  
"I think I'm going to go to the hospital wing. I'll see you guys later." He said and walked in the direction of the door in which lily and Severus just exited from.

James soon calmed down and stared talking to Peter about Quidditch. I let go of Sirius's hand and stood up from my seat. He looked at me in surprise and he too got up. We walked back up to the common room to fetch our books for class this morning.  
"Thank you." I said after a few minutes of silence.  
"For what?" He asked slightly confused.

I stopped walking up one of the stair cases and looked at him as he too stopped.  
"For helping me in there." I said and he smiled at me.  
"No problem." He said and turned around to keep walking. I ran to keep up with him and said "I want to become an animagus too. I want to be able to help Remus." We reached the common room about five minutes later. We both went to get our books and separated to go to class.

I usually went straight to the library after school, even on a full moon night because I didn't want to infringe on Remus's time of the wolf month, but today, Sirius insisted I come along to visit Remus.  
"It will be good experience for you to help us with Remus so you know the process for when we get to go with him next year." James said and I couldn't find any argument to say otherwise so I agreed.

"We discussed it with Remus at lunch time. He agreed it would be a good idea for you to see, now that you are determined to become an animagus." Said Sirius and I nodded as we came to the entrance to the Hospital wing. Madame Pomfry was rushing about, trying to organise a couple of first years who had accidently glued themselves together in potions class earlier today as well as trying to stop what I could only assume was Remus groaning in pain in the back ground. I went over to the two first years and smiled at them as I assessed their injury.

Their hands were stuck together, palm to palm. I had read about this happening before and knew the exact charm to break them apart. I didn't do it though for fear of getting it wrong. Instead I walked over to Madame Pomfry and told her of the spell. Her eyes lit up in gratitude as she rushed about to gather some things.  
"I had forgotten about that spell. Thank you my dear that will make cleaning them up so much simpler and fast." I nodded as she walked over to them and I turned to see James, Peter and Sirius disappear into a private room that I could only assume was where Remus was.

I walked over to the door and Madame Pomfry called out to me.  
"You can't go in there dear." She said and I turned around to face her. She looked worried and annoyed.  
"I know about Remus, he wanted me to help out tonight." I said and her face softened as she nodded and walked back to her office, seeing as the first years had scurried off in fright of the painful moaning and groaning coming from the room I was about to enter. I had read about werewolves and their transformations.

They could be very brutal and seeing as it was almost six o'clock, he would be in a lot of pain. I opened the door to find that he was sitting up in his bed and James and Sirius were looking at him with concern and Peter was leaning next to the door, not wanting to be too close to Remus in case he suddenly became a wolf and decided Peter would be a good snack. I walked in and closed the door behind me and the three boys in front of me turned to see me enter. Peter muttered good bye and left the room, practically running away.

"I snapped at him." Said Remus quietly and I saw that he looked… well he looked like shit really. There was no other way to put it.  
"You look awful." I said and he chuckled along with James and Sirius, wincing as he moved. My brows furrowed as I tried to think of something I could do to ease his pain. I conjured a bubble of cool water and floated it over his head and let it drop slowly onto his skin. He sighed in relief as the cool water touched his sweaty hot skin, his face turning from his grimace into a small smile.

"Thanks" He said as he closed his eyes and leaned back into the pillows that were behind him.  
"No problem." I said. I wondered what the process of the night was as we sat there in silence for a while.  
"Tell her what happens." Said Remus and Sirius nodded.

"Okay so we take him to the shrieking shack at seven o'clock and then lock him in. He stays there for the night and we come back and get him at four in the morning and bring him here. He will be injured and naked in the morning but we will bring something to cover him up so you can come with us." He said and I nodded in understanding.  
"How do you get to the shrieking shack?" I asked and they smirked.  
"We go through a tunnel at the base of the Whomping Willow." Said James and I nodded again thoughtfully.

So that was what the tunnel was for. I had always wondered. I stumbled upon the entrance whilst out for a walk one evening and accidently threw a rock into the tree and it hit the little nook that froze the tree. I looked through it a bit, but didn't dare go further into the tunnel for fear of the tree unfreezing and being trapped with no way out. I also didn't know where it led to and what lay at the end so I followed my common sense instead of curiosity. The guys waited for my shocked or impressed reaction but it never came.

They had made a game out of trying to surprise me but nothing ever really worked. Even when they flew up outside my window and shouted at me suddenly; I just looked up and waved, then went back to reading whatever book I was reading at the time. They sighed and I just shrugged. Sirius came over to stand next to me and whispered in my ear,  
"You don't have to come if you don't want to. No one here would blame you for backing out." I shook my head and said,  
"I'm going. I want to help him."


	6. Chapter 6

At that moment, Madame Pomfry opened the door, wand in hand and came in with a stretcher floating out behind her.  
"It's time to go Remus." She said and he nodded. The stretcher flew to the side of the bed and James helped Remus climb onto it without hurting himself too much. I got out my wand and looked to her seeing how tired she was.  
"I can take over with that if you'd like?" I asked and she smiled gratefully at me.

"I guess you can. That means I don't have to go. Do try not to hurt yourself too much tonight Remus. I don't want you coming back with a broken leg like last time." He nodded with a smile on his face, looking lovingly to her.  
"I'll try Poppy." He said and then I moved him from the room and out of the hospital wing. He must have a good relationship with her, coming here every month with injuries and such. Sirius and James lead me out a back door that opened up near the green house.

We walked hurriedly to the whomping willow tree with Remus in tow. We stopped just out of reach of the great willows branches that started wiping around as we approached. Sirius cast a spell that hit the nook that froze the tree. It stilled and they moved forward, motioning me to follow them. James and Sirius jumped into the tunnel and I climbed in after them, carefully moving the stretcher so that Remus didn't fall off of it. We made our way down the tunnel and walked for what felt like forever. We finally reached a door and Remus was starting to scream in pain.

I turned to look at him and he was curled up on the stretcher clutching his shoulder as it dislocated. I gasped but stayed back, letting the guys pick him up and carry him through the door and into a lounge room that was very battered. There was an old couch that was torn to shreds and the walls all had dents and huge claw marks all over them. I looked to the ground and saw blood stains too. Not wanting to see any more of the damage, I walked back out into the tunnel, saying good luck to Remus quietly as I went. The guys came out soon after me, closing the door behind them and locking it so that Remus, in his wolf form, couldn't escape and hurt anyone.

We left him there all alone as he screamed in agony. I could hear crashing and bones breaking behind me and wanted so much to be able to help him is some way but I couldn't. Tears welled up in my eyes as we walked back out to the willow tree. Then we got out and unfroze the tree and walked back up to the castle door that we exited from. I paused just outside the door as James went to tell Madame Pomfry that Remus was safely lock in the Shrieking Shack. Sirius went in too, as I stood there, my hands shaking and tears now flowing freely down my cheeks, him not noticing my absence.

I was panicking. My heart pounded hard in my chest, my breath deep and ragged. I fell against the wall beside the door and slid down so that I was sitting on the cold grass. I didn't trust my legs to not give out underneath me. I curled myself up into a ball of sorts, hugging my knees to my chest. I stayed like this for what felt like hours, crying silently about how helpless I was. I wanted to help Remus so badly. He was such a decent guy and it was unfair that he had to go through all that pain. What had he ever done to deserve that? Suddenly arms were around me, strong arms that pulled me into a comforting embrace.

"It's okay." A voice said that I identified as James. I leaned against him, as he lifted me up, his arms supporting my back and lifting under my knees. My arms went up around his neck to keep from falling down and I calmed down a bit, opening my eyes to see him looking at me with a worried expression on his face. He carried me, in silence, all the way up to the common room and set me down on the couch. I sighed and looked at the fire as he went upstairs in a hurry to get Sirius.

They both came back down in one big swoop of noise and then I was in Sirius's arms. He hugged me tightly and I hugged him back, tears falling once more as I struggled to keep from falling apart.  
"I know." Was all he said and I was glad I didn't have to explain my feelings to him. He understood the helplessness of not being able to help a friend who was going through something painful and terrible. He had to do it every month. He had to stay composed and strong so that Remus could rely on him but I wasn't that strong.

He let me go and sat beside me on the couch, holding my hand. I leaned my head on his shoulder as James sat on the floor in front of us.  
"What's wrong?" He said a confused and concerned look on his face. I was just about to answer when Sirius beat me to it.  
"Remember when you went into a massive fit of rage when you found out what Remus had to go through every month? How he had to physically transform his body into that of a wolf, which involved breaking bones and a lot of pain and screaming? This…" he motioned to me with his free hand, "Is a tamer version of your rampage. Abigail is less extravagant when expressing her emotions; she doesn't go around breaking things and yelling at people." He said quietly and chuckled as he remembered James's outburst. I smiled at the thought of him caring so much about his friend.

"Oh, right." Said James as he to laughed at the memory.  
"I just couldn't hold it in after hearing him scream like that." I said quietly and we all fell into a melancholy silence for a while. Finally Sirius spoke up.  
"I know it's hard to see, you don't have to come with us in the morning if it's too much for you." I sat up, letting go of his hand in the process and shook my head in disagreement. I had to see it. I needed to. It would make me that much more determined to become an animagus so that I could actually help him.

"I want to go. I want to help him in any way that I can." They nodded and I laid my head back on Sirius's shoulder. James left us after a while of silence, feeling tired and wanting to get some sleep before we had to go back and get Remus later.I didn't think that I could sleep knowing that Remus was out there all alone. I went up to my room to change into more comfortable clothing and thenwe waited in silence for hours until James came back down stairs and told us it was time to go and get him.

I walked into the Shrieking shack and saw Remus lying on his stomach on the ground. His arm was bent in an impossible angle and he looked lifeless. The room was a mess with blood and new scratches and damage all over the rooms. I gasped as I took in the view of him lying in a small pool of his own blood. I held back my tears, trying to be strong but failing. Tears ran slowly and silently down my face as we gathered his limp body up and wrapped a blanket around his naked frame.

James and Sirius, each with an arm around Remus, pulled him up and carried him all the way to the hospital wing. Madame Pomfry was there waiting for us. She took him into the private room and closed the door behind her. We sat and waited for her to patch him up. I stared at the door until she opened it and motioned for us to enter, understanding our need to be with him and help him. I stood up fast and moved into the room and went to stand beside him. He was awake, but only barely, he had three long red scars on his face that looked like they were going to stay and his arm was all wrapped up in a bandage along with his torso.

My hand flew up to my mouth to keep myself from crying outright and a fresh set of tears rolled down my face. He smiled at me and I moved my hand back down to my side so that I could smile back. I heard James and Sirius come into the room after me and they sat on the end of his bed and the chair next to it. I moved so that I was sitting by his side, half on his bed and took his hand in mine. He squeezed it weakly and I smiled again at him.  
"I'm so sorry you have to go through this Remus." I whispered and he nodded.  
"Thank you for being here." He said back in a voice that sounded so beaten up and different from his usual cheery voice. He then closed his eyes and fell asleep.


End file.
